Posts Tagged ‘2009’

Bobby’s Thoughts For The Week

October 31, 2009

The Oregon Ducks have to have the ugliest uniforms I’ve ever seen.

Two hand touch or flag football? I’m going to have to go with two hand touch.

Tecmo Super Bowl is still the best football videogame ever made. Madden can’t touch that. Electric Football would be a close second except it’s not a videogame and those little bastards never run straight ahead.

Brats or nachos? I’m going to have to go with brats, but I’m surprised how close it was.

The Browns helmets are actually orange. Weird. I like it.

With the NFL focusing on the entertainment side of things and trying to getting more people to watch their product, it’s bizarre that they don’t allow a couple players celebrating a TD in the endzone. No Fun League indeed! What’s wrong with 4 WR’s congratulating each other in the endzone for 10 seconds??

If they ever made an Alf movie, Mike Ditka should play his dad.

That last season of Seinfeld sure was wacky.

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Football Fury’s Power Rankings For Week 8

October 28, 2009

NO_logo-50x501. New Orleans Saints – THE GOOD – Same as last week, pretty much everything at this point. The defense still gives up points, but the offense once again is out running it. THE BAD – Still question marks about the defense and this team playing in cold weather stadiums later in the season. Brees had 3 INT’s against the Dolphins, which could be a sign that teams are starting to see how to defend the Saints passing attack. CONTENDER? Oh yes.

IND_logo-50x502. Indianapolis Colts – THE GOOD – Same as last week, pretty much everything, although the defense has some question marks. THE BAD – Once again, A LOT rides on Peyton Manning, if he plays poorly or even at a level below what’s he currently playing at this team will probably lose, especially to the better teams in the league. CONTENDER? Yep.

MIN_logo-50x503. Minnesota Vikings – THE GOOD – The Vikes actually leap frog over the Steelers, even though they lost to them. Why? They outplayed, outcoached and outgained the Steelers at Heinz Field. If not for a couple bad breaks they win that game. Favre is looking good, defense is looking tough. THE BAD – Secondary still has some big question marks, the Vikes run defense got gashed by the Steelers running game for a lot of 10+ yard runs. CONTENDER? Yep.

PIT_logo-50x504. Pittsburgh Steelers – THE GOOD – The Steelers are still ranked high in most offensive and defensive categories. The Steelers showed against the Vikes that they’ll be very hard to run against. The offense is loaded with talent. THE BAD – Defense still hasn’t been as dominant as last year, even with their 2 TD’s against the Vikes, they allowed almost 400 yards of offense at home. Secondary needs to play better in pass coverage. Coaching staff is suspect at times. CONTENDER? Yep.

DEN_logo-50x505. Denver Broncos – THE GOOD – With their bye, same as last week, coaching staff is doing a great job (so far), D-line is looking like one of the best in the league, which will do wonders for the rest of the defense. THE BAD – Bronco’s offense gets the job done, but barely. It sure doesn’t scare anyone. CONTENDER? Probably, but get back to me in a few weeks after they’ve played the Ravens, Steelers and Chargers.

NE_logo-50x506. New England Patriots – THE GOOD – The offense is gelling, the defense is looking better and better. THE BAD – With two dominating wins over teams in disarray (Titans, Bucs) it’s easy to get real high on this team right now. Still question marks about the defense and running game. CONTENDER? It’s looking like it, but we’ll see once they start playing better competition. Nov. 15 in Indy looks like a good start.

ARI_logo-50x507. Arizona Cardinals – THE GOOD – The Cards shoot up out of nowhere to the #7 spot with their impressive win over the Giants in NY. The Cardinals defense is playing better. Offense can be dangerous. THE BAD – Defense still has some big question marks. Kurt Warner is starting to show his age. Offense has the worst pass to run ratio in the NFL, which is usually never a good thing. CONTENDER? Doubtful, this team could easily drop out of the rankings. Of course that was the case last year as well and looked what happened.

NYG_logo-50x508. New York Giants – THE GOOD – The Giants can still run the ball, D-line still has some ferocious pass rushers. THE BAD – Eli Manning seems to struggle more often than not when the weight of the offense is put on him. Secondary is starting to look very shaky. CONTENDER? Looked like it a couple weeks ago, now not so sure.

CIN_logo-50x509. Cincinnati Bengals – THE GOOD – One of Cincy’s more impressive wins in recent memory this past weekend against the Bears. Believe or not but the Bengals have the leading rusher right now (Cedric Benson), defense is better than it’s been in years. Carson Palmer has been solid leading a safer, more ball-control offense. THE BAD – Just how good is their defense? It’s only ranked 20th in yards and near the bottom against the pass. Offense doesn’t put up a ton of points. CONTENDER? Probably not.

GB_logo-50x5010. Green Bay Packers – THE GOOD – Aaron Rodgers continues to play at an elite level. Defense continues to improve with aggressive new 3-4 defensive scheme, currently ranked 3rd in yards allowed. THE BAD – O-line still has question marks in pass protection and run blocking. Run defense still needs a little bit more improvement. CONTENDER? Could be, we’ll have a better idea next week against the Vikes in a huge divisional game.

What We Learned After Week 7 In The NFL

October 27, 2009

09000d5d813b1091_gallery_600Alex Smith is still in the NFL and he actually looks pretty good.

Ron Winters and his officiating crew is probably still the worst crew in the NFL with a number of questionable calls in the Vikings-Steelers game. “Defensive delay of game”? What the hell is that?

The Falcons defense isn’t very good. Could cost the Falcons a playoff spot or a playoff loss.

Carolina is definitely not making the playoffs this year. Get ready to hear about a possible coaching change in the offseason.

The Rams look like they’re trying to claim “Worst Team in the NFL” this year but they’re getting tough competition from the Browns, Chiefs and Buccaneers.

The Cardinals are actually 4-2 after their impressive win over the Giants. Wonder how many people actually realize that. They’re suddenly the new favorite to win the Stinker Division (ie, NFC West).

JaMarcus Russell was benched probably 5 games late.

Other Observations

The Jay Cutler trade is starting to look a little one-sided right now. Consider that the Broncos got a 1st round and 3rd round pick in 2009 AND a 1st round pick in 2010 AND Kyle Orton in exchange for letting Cutler go!! Insane. Cutler has been erratic and not very impressive so far this year (he’s averaging almost 2 INT’s a game) and while he may get better with more talent around him in Chicago, there’s no doubt that Denver got a pretty sweet deal in getting rid of Cutler. Sort of funny that Orton has better numbers and has outplayed Cutler so far this year.

Why did the Dolphins call for a play action play on 4th and 13 with 2 minutes left in the game? Bizarre call. Just go back and throw it. Didn’t matter with the flag and intereception, but still…

There’s a lot of good RB’s in the NFL that you never seem to hear about, either due to that player being on a bad team (Frank Gore, Steven Jackson) or because teams are focusing more on the pass these days (Pierre Thomas).

Eli Manning has to be the most overrated QB in the NFL. He was coming out of college and continues to be in 2009. Against the Cardinals he continued to show why he’s just an average NFL QB when the Giants run game isn’t being dominant. The praise he gets from the media (Both Boomer Esiason and Trent Dilfer had him #3 in their top 10 list of QB’s so far this year) is a little ridiculous.

It’s still early but it looks like the playoff picture is already starting to come into focus just a little. In the AFC it’s a safe bet that the Pats, Colts and Broncos will be in the postseason. Not a lock but a pretty safe bet so far. Of those 3 the Broncos are the most likely to implode with their tough schedule and some question marks. With their talent level and easy schedule the rest of the way it’s a fairly safe bet that the Steelers will also get in. That leaves 5 teams (Jets, Bengals, Ravens, Texans and Chargers) vying for 2 spots. It should be interesting. Sorry, Jags fans, but I don’t see the Jags, even with a 3-3 record, getting in.

In the NFC it’s a pretty safe bet that the Saints, Cardinals and Vikings get in. Of those 3, the Cards are most likely to falter with some question marks here and there. That leaves 3 teams fighting it out for the NFC East (Giants, Cowboys and Ealges). That could get wild with the Giants showing some serious weaknesses of late. The two teams that don’t win that division will probably be battling it out with the Falcons and Packers for the two Wild Card spots. Of course the Packers could still win their division, especially if they win a huge game next week against the Vikes. I’d also include the 49ers in the mix but it just looks like they’re at least a year away at this point, maybe Alex Smith will make me change my tune, though.

What We Learned After Week 6 In The NFL

October 21, 2009

09000d5d81380e22_gallery_600Jeff Fisher might be coaching another team in a couple years. Too bad for the Titans.

Apparently the Pats think they’re playing Division I football and running up the score will get them placed higher in the Top 25. I don’t care if the Titans did give up in that game, going for it on fourth down in the second half is ridiculous. The Pats still have some problems but this game could be a warning to the rest of the league.

Eli Manning is not anywhere close to being an elite NFL QB without the help of a dominating running attack.

The Jets continue to show they may be in trouble the rest of the year with Mark Sanchez struggling as a rookie QB (as predicted on here weeks back).

The Steelers quietly have one of the most explosive offenses in the league.

The Ravens defense isn’t nearly as good as it used to be.

There’s some talent on the Raiders defense.

Norv Turner is outcoached for the 100th straight time in his career. San Diego may not make the playoffs. Turner should go back to being an offensive coordinator.

Ron Rivera may have been part of a great Bears defense as a linebacker in the 80’s, but he’s not doing a very good job with San Diego’s defense as defensive coordinator.

Seattle is probably not making the playoffs this year.

Kyle Orton is playing better and better each week for the Broncos.

Other observations –

With the NFL making more and more rule changes favoring offenses, we’re seeing a lot of 300 yard passing games from QB’s along with high completion percentages. There were 8 QB’s with over 300 yards of passing in Week 6. Along with that there were 5 or 6 other QB’s with numbers close to that. I honestly miss the days of seeing QB’s actually earn those numbers as opposed to being handed it by defenses not being allowed to play actual defense. I’m sure others, especially those that play Fantasy Football, would disagree.

It seems like the days of dominating defenses are coming to an end. There’s only so much defenses can do when they are being handcuffed by new rules and refs all too willing to throw the yellow flag on any kind of contact on passing situations.

What We Learned After Week 4 In The NFL

October 6, 2009

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JaMarcus Russell is still a horrible NFL QB.

The Raiders are still the Raiders.

If the Texans defense improves it’s play, they could sneak into the playoffs this year.

The Titans are this year’s surprise team, but not in a good way.

The 49ers are the clear cut favorites at this point to win the Stinker Division.

Dick Jauron is probably going to be on the hotseat in a couple weeks.

St. Louis is the worst team in the NFL, now that the Browns almost won a game.

The Buccaneers are bad, but not as bad the Rams.

The Bengals are 3-1and improved but still not that impressive.

Jim Mora, Jr. might not have been the best choice as head coach for the Seahawks.

The Seahawks have the most boring offense in the NFL.

Peyton Manning is having an incredible year so far.

The Colts might rely on Manning just a little too much.

The Chargers aren’t a very impressive team.

The Steelers seem incapable of winning comfortably even when outgaining their opponents 2-1 in yards and leading in the 2nd half, 28-0. Maybe they like to keep things exciting for the fans for all 4 quarters.

Games in Depth

Baltimore 21 vs. New England 27 – This game could’ve gone either way. At times it looked like the Patriots defense simply didn’t have an answer for the Ravens offense. Strangely, the Ravens didn’t run the ball much but should have(Ray Rice had 11 carries for 103 yards!). Tom Brady progressively played better as the game went on. The officiating in this game was simply horrible and the Pats benefitted from mostly bad one-sided calls throughout. The Ravens receivers are starting to show their age, Derrick Mason and Mark Clayton dropped passes deep in Pats territory on their last drive that resulted in a change of possession and the end of the game. It’s evident that both team’s defenses have some serious weaknesses (Pats against the run, the Ravens against the pass). Joe Flacco is the real deal, he had a few great passes in this game, including the sweet TD pass to Mason on a third and goal from around the 15 yard line.

New York Jets 10 vs. New Orleans 24 – The final score was not indicative of how close this game was. One of the more entertaining games of the year so far. The Saints defense looks like the real deal under new defensive coordinator, Gregg Williams. In fact, they look like a completely different defense than last year, aggressive, smart, fast. Free safety Darren Sharper looks like a great FA pick up and was huge in this game, returning a bad Mark Sanchez pass back for a TD. As I predicted last week, Sanchez struggled in this game and Jets fans, that trend could continue as the season goes on and more teams have game film of him. Rex Ryan’s prediction of a Jets Super Bowl appearance this year might be a year or two premature. The good news for the Jets is they did a pretty decent job on the Saints offense for most of the game. Saints running back Pierre Thomas is the real deal and is looking like one of the best RB’s in the league right now.

Dallas 10, vs. Denver 17 – Denver is 4-0 and that’s a shocker, even with their relatively easy schedule. The Cowboys talented defense played sloppily and undisciplined throughout this game. The Brandon Marshall TD pass and run should be an embarrassment to all involved in Cowboys country. The Broncos defense looks more and more impressive under ex-49ers coach, Mike Nolan. The Cowboys receivers had a hard time getting separation from an aggressive Broncos secondary. QB Tony Romo progressively played worse and worse as this game went on, throwing passes behind, in front, and high of his receivers. He laid out WR Roy Williams over the middle with an over throw, resulting in Williams leaving the game with an injury. This whole game reeked of a poorly coached game by Cowboys head coach Wade Philips.

Horrible Officiating Watch, Week 4

October 6, 2009

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Baltimore vs. New England Ron Winters and his officiating crew is by far the worst crew in the NFL. Just God awful, the NFL should be more than a little embarrassed by their performance in this game and just about every game they do. Horrible roughing the QB call on defensive end Haloti Ngata of the Ravens on a huge 3rd down incompletion early in the Ravens-Pats game, in which the Pats would go on to score a TD to take the lead. Tom Brady is out of the pocket and Ngata puts his hand up to block the pass and is called for barely touching Brady’s helmet. What is Ngata supposed to do in that situation? Change the way he plays and not put his hand up in fear that he’ll make incidental contact with a QB’s helmet thus giving the opposing offense more of an advantage? Ridiculous.

There’s another horrible roughing the QB call on LB Terrell Suggs when he barely makes any contact with Brady. I guess the NFL passed a memo to officials stating “Anyone that touches Brady will get flagged.” On this play, Brady actually waved to the official for a flag AND GOT IT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WAY TO GO, WINTERS!

Phil Simms, who covered the Ravens-Pats game, is a compete moron when it comes to these horrible calls, stating “you can’t protect the players enough”, uh, it’s FOOTBALL, where guys are hitting each other at full speed and they do wear pads!! He says the “players will adapt to the new rules” and ruin the game in the process?? So far they haven’t “adapted” since some of these rules run totally opposite to what football is and what these guys have been taught throughout their careers as defensemen.

Another horrible call in the game was an offensive P.I. call on Ravens WR Derrick Mason on 1st down completion that is called back. There’s was no push off, just brief incidental contact as Mason ran an in and out route.

Also, it’s apparent that the Pats are allowed to run pick plays and never get called for it like some other teams.

I’m not one to put too much into “Spygate” I give the Pats full credit for their SB wins but this game was totally one-sided in terms of officiating, and it’s not the first time this year the officials favored the Pats in a game. The NFL should be embarrassed by this. It’s good to see Ravens head coach John Harbaugh mentioning it in his post-game press conference and some in the media pick up on it. Hopefully Winters and his crew are suspended. Doubtful, though since the NFL hasn’t done anything to improve officiating over the last few years.

In other games –

Seattle vs. Indianapolis – A lot of dubious illegal contact and holding calls on the Seahawks in the 1st half of the Seahawks-Colts game. Of course CBS never showed any replays of the penalties in question so we’ll just have to assume the officials did a great and fair job in some early crucial downs in the game(yeah, right).

New York Jets vs. New Orleans – Horrible helmet to helmet call on FS Darren Sharper in the Jets-Saints game where he lead with his shoulder. Just ridiculous.

Dallas vs. Denver – Horrible PI on Denver CB Andre Goodman(?) on a big third down incompletion in the 4th quarter giving the Cowboys a 1st down. If that’s pass interference then I guess any sort of contact at all between WR and CB is not allowed anymore in the NFL. If anything it was offensive pass interference with a push off from the Cowboys WR. Horrible job, officials.

The next play the Cowboys get a phantom holding call after a big run. I guess this is the NFL’s way of making up for the previous bad call? How about not calling the initial BS pass interference call on the previous play instead?

What We Learned In Week 3 In The NFL

September 28, 2009

With teams keying in on the New Orleans Saints passing game, it really opens up their running game.

The Houston Texans still have a pretty mediocre defense.

With Detroit Lions finally winning (Congrats!) the Browns take firm control of worst team in the NFL.

Browns coach Eric Mangini may not last the season, it looks like the Browns players turned on him in Week 1 after the 1st half against the Vikes.

As already noted on here, Browns QB Brady Quinn continues to look like the bad choice at QB for Cleveland. The Browns are looking like a bad choice for an NFL team.

The 2009 Baltimore Ravens offense is the best ever assembled in Baltimore.

Redskins coach Jim Zorn will probably be on the coaching hotseat soon.

Don’t ever think the Pats are done as a team with Bill Belichick still as head coach and Tom Brady at quarterback.

The Buccaneers still have a bad team, bad defense, bad offense, it’s bad. It might come down to this team and the Browns for worst team in the NFL this year.

Denver Broncos might be one of the least unimpressive 3-0 teams ever.

JaMarcus Russell is indeed a bust at QB and that probably won’t ever change.

Rex Ryan will probably get Coach of the Year.

Brett Favre can actually throw it more than 10 yards. Vikings are pretty fortunate to be 3-0, but that’s the NFL for you, there is some luck involved.

49ers are the new favorite to win the Stinker Division…Again, that could always change next week. They should be 3-0, though, which is mighty impressive. They look like the most complete team in the NFC West.

Chicago Bears are 2-1 but probably won’t make the playoffs.

There is no difference between QB Matt Hasselback or QB Seneca Wallace starting for the Seahawks, they’re both equally unimpressive and both put up the same numbers whenever either one starts.

The Miami Dolphins went down fighting with a valiant effort against San Diego. With the way the Jets and Pats are playing right now, Miami is virtually out of the playoffs with an 0-3 record.

With Chad Pennington out with an injury, the Chargers still had to win a close one at home against the Dolphins. Such is the way with Norv Turner as head coach.

Games in Depth

Tennessee 17 vs. New York Jets 24
Kerry Collins when given time to throw in this game was deadly accurate and it’s a good thing since his receivers were never open at all throughout this game. The NY Jets defense plays aggressive and the Titans offense really struggled at times because of it. The Titans made way too many mistakes in this game to win it, which didn’t happen a lot last year. Mark Sanchez got off to a great start but the Titans defense started to put the clamps down on him later in the game. The Jets are looking great right now, but I can see Sanchez start to struggle as more teams get film on him and opposing defenses start to gel. Don’t be surprised if the Jets struggle later in the season a little. I’m not ready to write off the Titans but they’re clearly looking at a Wildcard spot at best right now.

Pittsburgh 20 vs. Cincinnati 23
The Steelers give another game away by not putting the Bengals away early in this one. Offensive miscues and questionable coaching decisions have cost the Steelers in the last two games. The Steelers defense is struggling to get pressure on opposing QB’s which didn’t happen last year, giving up 20 points in the 2nd half is a big concern to Steeler fans everywhere. Cincy’s improved defense didn’t look so improved in this game with the Steelers tearing up their D for over 200 yards of offense in the 1st half alone. The Bengals play a more ball-control offense now, Carson Palmer looked uncomfortable early but played well in the 2nd half without the Steelers getting any pressure on him. The Bengals offensive line looked great as did the Steelers O-line.

Indianapolis 31 vs. Arizona 10
Turnovers kill you and they sure killed the Cardinals in this game. The Cards offense was able to move the ball only to give the ball away at the most inopportune times. The Cards probably abandoned the run too early in this one. Last week the Dolphins ran all over the Colts but the Cardinals only attempted 12 runs the whole game. Meanwhile Warner had to throw it 52 times for only 332 yards, 1 TD and 2 INT’s. The Colts on offense stayed aggressive throughout the game never letting up, something the Steelers could learn from. The Colts defense looks pretty good but needs to improve if the Colts want to be legit Super Bowl contenders.

What We Learned From Week 2 In The NFL

September 22, 2009

SanchezJets
The Denver Broncos might be one of the worst 2-0 teams in recent memory.

The Tennessee Titans might be one of the best 0-2 teams in recent memory (although that defense ain’t looking so good right now, that secondary is overrated without Albert Haynesworth applying pressure on the opposing QB).

The Browns might have edged out the Rams and Lions for worst team in the NFL right now.

The Ravens look like the most complete team in the NFL RIGHT NOW (that could change in a few weeks), from offense to defense to coaching. John Harbaugh is already a great head coach as far as I’m concerned. The Ravens defense is still really good, the scary thing is they have an offense now, which never happened up under former head coach Brian Billick.

The Seahawks are once again, paper champs, always have been probably always will be.

The Cards suddenly seem like favorites once again to win this Stinker Division, BUT…

The 49ers might be one this year’s surprise teams, they are so far.

Mark Sanchez looks like this year’s Matt Ryan and the Jets defense is looking like the real deal, but it’s been only 2 games.

Matt Ryan keeps playing beyond his years.

The Saints will score more points than any other team this year and probably won’t be close, but can they out run their own defense? That’s the real issue with this team. So far they’ve played a team with a rookie QB and a team with a back up QB and in both games have given up over 20 points.

The Patriots, like I thought, have some real issues. Their defense looks average and only scoring 9 points in ANY game could be a real cause for concern. Tom Brady doesn’t look too good behind a shaky O-line. Don’t know how Belichick is going to solve the problems on this team this year, but if he does it’ll further solidify his legacy.

The media won’t be hyping up the Eagles this week, but will talk ad nauseum about Mcnabb and Vick.

Games in Depth
AAronRodgers
Cincinnati, 31 vs. Green Bay, 24Aaron Rodgers has to be the most frustrated QB in the league right now, he’s looked great so far this season, like last, but his WR’s keep dropping pass after pass and his O-line hasn’t protected him. Cincy’s Antwan Odom snagging 5 sacks says it all. Overall, Cincy’s defense was tough against the run but Rodgers would’ve had over 300 yards if his WR’s caught the passes they should have. Green Bay’s defense took a step backward from last week against Chicago, they had serious problems stopping RB Cedric Benson. Carson Palmer was solid but kept Green Bay in the game with 2 very costly INT’s, one returned for an INT and another that set them up for a TD deep in Cincy territory. Both these teams could be dangerous against as the season progresses and these teams start to gel. Yes, I just said the Cincinnati Bengals could be a dangerous team this year, they should be 2-0 right now.
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Pittsburgh, 14 vs. Chicago, 17Jay Cutler looked decent doing a lot of dump offs and going after SS Tyrone Carter, who was replacing Troy Polamalu and it paid off for 2 TD passes. The Steelers offense looked great on the first drive of the game and then promptly disappeared until the 2nd half. The Steelers seem to rely on their defense just a little too much and it hurt them in this game when the Bears drove down in the last 3 minutes to kick the game-winning FG. The Steelers playing style seems to keep any team in the game, regardless of who it is. The Bears defense, outside of the D-line, looked very average. That secondary needs work. The Steelers need Troy Polamalu back ASAP, Carter just isn’t a starting SS.
EliManning
NY Giants 33 vs. Dallas 31 – Anyone see Tony Romo‘s numbers in this game? 13/29 127 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT’s. Wow, I smell Pro Bowl! What makes it all the worse is the fact that the Cowboys compiled over 200 yards of rushing. Giants had no business winning this game, and their defense looked alarmingly bad outside of nabbing 3 INT’s. Eli Manning played a solid game but far from spectacular outside of a couple drives. Both these teams need A LOT of work as this season progresses.

Who Has the Worst Pregame Show – ESPN, CBS or FOX?

September 8, 2009

Alright, it’s pretty apparent that over the past few years, ESPN, CBS and FOX have entered into a battle to see who has the worst NFL Pregame show. Let’s take a closer look.

ESPN – Sunday NFL Countdown

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Chris Berman does his best to move along this 2 hour  (2 HOURS? Seriously?!) snooze-fest. I feel for the guy, I really do. Let’s look at who he has to work with.

Mike Ditka – Former Bears coach and rasta-wig wearing knucklehead, this guy normally talks about TE’s a lot and that’s about it, you’ll forget what he’s said about 2 minutes after he’s said it. I like the guy I just don’t want to hear him tell me why Jason Whitten is such a good TE for the 10th time.

Tom Jackson – Long-time partner with Berman, Jackson loves to hear himself talk, you can just tell by his long-winded ramblings into nothingness. Informative? No. Always a sure bet to pick the Broncos? Yes.

Keyshawn Johnson – This guy is always laughing, smiling at Ditka, I honestly don’t know what the hell he’s doing on TV. I think he’s on there to mix it up with Jackson, whatever that means.

Emmitt Smith – Is Smith actually still with ESPN? I’m pretty sure they let him go, he wasn’t good enough for this show and THAT’S saying something.

Steve Young – Occasionally Young will something that’s opinionated and not cliched but most of the time he’ll look at the camera like he’s had too many concussions (which he has).

Cris Carter – You can just tell that Carter thinks he has more football knowledge  than the rest of the crew and maybe he does but it’s kind of hard to tell with his inane observations and opinions.
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Chris Mortensen – Really the only reason to watch this show, he’s probably on camera for about 10 or 15 minutes total, but amazingly in that amount of time he has more real information on the day’s games and players than the rest of the crew combined. Still not worth turning on ESPN, though.

CBS –  The NFL Today
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Like Berman, CBS’ host James Brown does the best to move along this trainwreck of a show. I can only imagine what Brown is thinking while the rest of these clowns are talking. Let’s take a closer look.

Dan Marino – You can just tell that Marino loves just showing up on the set, saying a few words and collecting a nice paycheck. I like Marino but on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of how informative he is I’d have to give him a 3.

Bill Cowher – The newest member to this crew, Cowher sits smack in the middle of the show but it’s almost like he’s not even present. Most of the time he’ll say stuff like “I really like this player” and he’ll be talking about Tavaris Jackson! Holy shit. At least he’s opinionated on the rare times he talks.

Shannon Sharpe – Can anyone understand what Sharpe is saying? I call him “Mr. Marblemouth” because it really sounds like he’s put as many marbles in his mouth as possible before talking. I don’t know what he’s saying so therefore he gets an incomplete.

Boomer Esiason – Is Esiason annoying? Yes. Does he have the best opinions and most information of anyone on this show? Yes, but that’s not exactly something to be proud of.

Charlie Casserly – This guy scares me. Where did he come from? I’m assuming he used to do hits for the mafia, but I can’t prove it. He’s NFL Today’s version of Chris Mortensen but probably not as reliable. He supposedly has inside sources, info, etc.

FOX – The NFL on Fox
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Aw, yes, the NFL on Fox, the original dummy pregame show. Thanks to the high ratings of this show (America, you’re really not that stupid are you?) CBS and ESPN have followed suit and copied Fox’s format. I don’t know who the host is of this show now that Brown has left but I’m assuming he’s doing the best he can. Let’s look at Fox’s “analysts”.

Terry Bradshaw – Bradshaw obviously gets off on acting like a hillbilly and saying stupid shit and people LOVE it. It’s a win win situation. I like Bradshaw but watching him for his opinions on the day’s games just isn’t a good idea.

howieturtleneckHowie Long – I call Long “The Professor”, not because he says informative stuff (sometimes he does) but because he looks very intensely into the camera while wearing glasses and using big words that you may have to look up in a dictionary. It’s almost as if he’s trying really hard to make you think he might be the world’s smartest man when it comes to football knowledge. Nice try, Howie, but I’m not buying it!!

Jimmy Johnson – Johnson is just another in a long line of NFL TV “analysts” that will say something and you’ll totally forget 2 minutes later he ever said it because it’ll be something like “Brady and this offense looks really good right now”. No shit?

Michael Strahan – I’m just assuming Strahan is missing his playing days already and wants some of that attention that he used to get as a Giant. I think it’s a pretty safe assumption.

Jay Glazer –  Fox’s version of Chris Mortensen. His sources seem reliable enough but he comes off as a total douchebag.

Conclusion – Three way tie, they’re all the SAME show. Each filled with the same cliches and stupid one-liners, give or take a few honest observations. If you already watch football and spend 10 or 15 minutes on the internet looking at NFL.com for stats and highlights there is absolutely no reason to watch any of these shows. The only decent pregame show on TV is the Edge NFL Matchup show, but ESPN, being the joke of a network it is these days, has the show on at like 2 AM, so good luck with that.