Posts Tagged ‘CBS’

Observations From the Pregame Shows, Week 4

October 4, 2009

ESPN – NFL Sunday Countdown

ESPN does a semi-interesting news story on the Redskins and why they suck. Of course it all goes back to Dan Snyder, one of the worst owners in the NFL. Thanks for pointing out the obvious, guys.

Tom Jackson points out that Denver has only given up 16 points in 3 games and he doesn’t care who the competition is, that’s impressive. Keyshawn Johnson counters that by pointing out they played JaMarcus Russell. Really that should discount one of Denver’s games from a defensive standpoint.

IBM Insight Center this week goes a little bit in-depth about the Steelers-Chargers game…For about a minute. Why isn’t this segment longer? It’s one of the only decent segments on this show. Merrill Hoge is one of the few in-depth and interesting guys on ESPN.

It goes back to the regular crew and they say a bunch of stupid stuff that the media has regurgitated for the last 10 years about how the Steelers need to go back to “Smashmouth Football”. No, actually the opposite, they need a new offensive coordinator and they need to throw it more in obvious run situations because they don’t have the O-line to run the ball down opponent’s throats.

Tom Jackson and Cris Carter actually do an interesting breakdown of the Jets-Saints game. Still not that in-depth but somewhat interesting.

Mike Ditka replies to the segment and I can’t understand a word.

I’m a little shocked, Sal Palantonio is actually covering a game that doesn’t involve the Eagles (are they playing this week? I think they are! It makes no sense). He’s interviewing John Harbaugh, coach of the Ravens, that man is a hell of a coach.

CBS NFL Today

Charlie “Hitman” Casserly points out that the Bucs are so bad on the O-line that they need a more mobile QB than Byron Leftwich to avoid the pass rush so they’ve switched QB’s to a complete unknown guy. Wow, that’s a new one if true.

CBS talks about who has more pressure on them in the Vikings-Packers game, Brett Favre or Aaron Rodgers. Dan Marino stole the words right out of my mouth “Yeah, it’s hard to turn around and hand the ball off” in a reference to Favre handing the ball of the Adrian Peterson.

CBS crew actually does a really good but short break down of the Jets-Saints game. Why can’t they do that with every game?

FOX NFL on FOX

FOX does a story about TO getting a “raw deal” from the media…Hmmmm….That doesn’t seem to make any sense at all.

Jimmy Johnson brings up an interesting point about the Redskins and how they over spend for top talent and thus don’t have any other talented players on the team.

Talking about the Cowboys running game, Johnson notes at how big their O-line is. Strahan, who played them twice a year as a Giant, noted that he could never understand why they didn’t run the ball more. Now they are and they have the #1 running game in the NFL.

Now they’re showing Jay Glazer, it almost looks like his head has been inflated like a balloon.

Terry Bradshaw picks the Saints every week.

The Fox crew is doing their picks of the day and I swear that after watching their “banter” it has made me a little stupider.

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Observations From the Pregame Shows, Week 3

September 27, 2009

ESPN – NFL Sunday Countdown
Every time I turn on ESPN it seems like there’s Trent “f’ing” Dilfer staring back at me. It’s enough to make me never want to turn that channel on again.

ESPN is doing a piece on Rex Ryan son of legendary defensive coach Buddy Ryan. They’re showing that Oilers-KC playoff game where Buddy Ryan, then DC for the Oilers, tries to hit Kevin Gilbride, the Oilers OC, hilarious.

As I predicted earlier week, the media is talking a lot about Micheal Vick, unbelievable. ESPN’s Sal Palantonio who seems to exclusively cover the Eagles interviews Vick this week. Who cares?? What is there to talk about it at this point? All this attention for a guy who committed some horrible crimes, was about to be pushed out of Atlanta because he wasn’t progressing as a QB and who probably won’t have much, if any, impact this year for the Eagles. Good job, ESPN!

Dilfer does an unbelievably stupid piece on Tom Brady, stating the problem with that offense isn’t Tom Brady, it’s the Pats, but offers no reason why that is. Dilfer sure does love Brady. Keyshawn Johnson states the obvious, the type of injury Brady suffered is still affecting him, both mentally and physically. The problem with the Pats offense is obviously a combination of Brady’s injury, O-line, etc.

Alf is saying the Pats don’t have weapons. WHAT?

Cris Carter says that the most clutch QB he’s ever seen was Joe Montana and last week what he saw out of Brady was a QB that didn’t want to get hit. Interesting.

49ers are getting a little love from ESPN because they’re 2-0. Last year it was like the team didn’t even exist in terms of media coverage.
Mike “Alf” Ditka is a master of the cliches. I’m beginning to see why he didn’t do much as a head coach after the Bears won the Super Bowl in ’85.

Kenny Mayne does an awesome piece on “The Catch” the famous play that ushered in the 49ers dynasty where Joe Montana threw the game-winning pass to Dwight Clark against the Cowboys in the playoffs. Mayne mentions what I’ve known for some time, Joe Montana, the greatest QB to play the game, looks a hell of lot like Barry Manilow. Mayne must have a lot of pull as a reporter now because he gets Clark, Montana and Jerry Rice to talk about the play in a humorous way. Best 5 minutes of any of the pregame shows so far this year.
ESPN’s only decent regular segment is Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen together going through various topics. I don’t always agree with them but at least it’s interesting.

ESPN needs to get rid of that stupid EA Sports view thing. Tom Jackson does a useless segment on the Steelers new offense using the EA Sports thing and how in the shotgun they run the ball. I don’t think the Steelers have run that play all year. Not informative of all.

CBS The NFL Today

Uh oh, Shannon Sharpe is back on the CBS set. I was hoping he’d forget how to get to the set after not being there last week.

According to everyone on the set, the Raiders are winning games in spite of Jamarcus Russell, no shit!

Boomer Esiason is taking the 49ers over the Vikings because of the defense taking on the identity of their head coach, Mike Singletary, and because of  Favre will throw a couple picks. Good call.

CBS does an online/text poll of whether Tony Romo will ever win a SB in Dallas, not surprisingly 91% of the voters say no. The stupid thing is if the Cowboys had beaten the Giants last week the poll would be probably a lot different.

CBS then does a stupid poll of who “the best player in the NFL” is. How can you quantify that? They limit it to just 3 players.

CBS then advertises a Michael Vick interview on their show. I turn the channel.

FOX – NFL on FOX
Howie Long is looking at Terry Bradshaw like he might want to kiss him. Bradshaw returns the look.

Jay Glazer‘s head looks like a big piece of bread with little eyes and mustache.

Bradshaw is talking about body slamming Michael Strahan. Jimmy Johnson is the only consistently decent guy on this set.

Long brings up an interesting point about the Pats and how they only have a handful of players left over from their last SB win. Lots of coaches and players have left the team since then, but Johnson counters that by stating the most important components are still there with Belichick and Brady.

I kind of want to punch that Frank Caliendo in the face. Every time I see him it’s an automatic change of the channel.

The Fox show might not be the worst, but they definitely act the dumbest for the lowest common denominator.

Observations on the Pregame Shows Week 2

September 20, 2009

ESPN – Sunday NFL Countdown

What’s the deal with on field reporter Sal Paolantonio? He only reports on the Eagles, that’s ridiculous!

For some reason Tom Jackson is yelling about if the Eagles  can win in the long-term without McNabb, he doesn’t think so. Alf pretty much agrees. Someone says if they get 4 or 5 turnovers against the Saints they’ll win, isn’t that true of any NFL team? Wow, that’s some insight.

ESPN is doing some video music montage about Matt Sanchez. They should be embarrassed.

ESPN now has an “injury analyst”. Quit wasting my time ESPN!

They debate who will be missed more, Polamalu or Urlacher – Cris Carter says Troy is a “football player” and is “special”. Thanks for the info, Carter. Mike Ditka says it’s Urlacher and mumbles something about players “stepping up”. Insight doesn’t get any better than this, folks.

ESPN is reporting on Ochostinko’s twitter blog and how gay it is.

Keyshawn Johnson says Drew Brees and head coach Sean Payton are chasing that 5,000 yards and Marino’s record. What the hell is this guy talking about?? I think the Saints are trying to win games, I seriously doubt Payton is sitting around thinking of ways to get Brees the passing yard record. At least I’d hope so for the sake of Saint’s fans. Maybe he thinks the NFL has been replaced by Fantasy Football.

Everyone on ESPN is taking the Jets to beat the Pats, outside of Boomer. Jackson says with Jared Mayo being out for the Pats, the Jets will run the ball with success, could be a good point.

CBS – The NFL Today

Shannon “Marble-Mouth” Sharpe is getting inducted into Denver’s Ring of Honor. Congrats, Sharpe! He was a great one. The good news is he won’t be on the set today.

Looks like CBS is still trying to stir up some Terrell Owens (non)news from last week about TO’s comment on QB Trent Edwards.

Esiason brings up a good point about injuries in the NFL and how it’d be ludicrous to extend the season by 2 more games, which Roger Turdell wants to do. It’d also ruin season stats from previous years. Think about the stats!

The set seems a lot less cluttered and better without Sharper on there.

The show tries to go to announcer Dan Dierdorf for some info on the Pats/Jets game but it looked like Dierdorf was choking on a chili hotdog and they had to cut away….alright now they’re back, Dierdorf is OK, Thank God.

I’ve just noticed that Phil Simms kinda looks like Boomer Esiason, neither has a chin and their respected heads both look like pillows.

Bill Cowher brings up a good point about the Steelers-Bears game and how with Troy Polamalu being out, SS Tryone Carter will have a hard time covering Bears TE Greg Olsen.

Esiason thinks the Eagles defense will create a bunch of TO’s against Brees and the Saints offense and win the game. Don’t know about that. Esiason uses Delhomme as an example, which doesn’t really make much sense given the fact that Delhomme threw up 4 or 5 INT’s in his previous game against a worse defense in the Cardinals. Marino and Cowher wonder how the Eagles will score enough points. I wonder if Dierdorf is really OK or not.

Marino breaks down some game film on Jay Cutler‘s INT’s. Good job, Marino, fairly insightful. Not all the INT’s were soley on Cutler, but 3 were, which can’t make.

CBS does a segment on who is the best comeback QB in the NFL. America shows how dumb they are on the online/text message poll by putting Big Ben third by a wide margin behind Manning and Brady. The question wasn’t who the best overall QB, but best comeback QB. Ben has the most comeback wins in the 4th quarter and OT since coming into the league. Marino picks Brady, Cowher, perhaps showing bias, takes Big Ben but brings up how he did it on the biggest stage in the SB. Picking Brady ahead of Ben, OK, Brady is clutch. Manning? That’s not his strength.

FOX – NFL on Fox

Jimmy Johnson says the pressure on the Cowboys is on Wade Phillips and that run defense. Good point. You gotta think Phillips is sort of on a hot seat this year, but who the hell knows with Jerry Jones at owner. This is the guy that forced out Jimmy Johnson and hired Barry Switzer to replace him. Johnson definitely speaks from experience.

Strahan forgets his notes and stumbles on the Cowboys/Giants, everyone laughs. I still don’t know what Strahan is doing on this show.

Jay Glazer reports on McNabb’s injury, it’s not looking good, Eagles fans. Apparently Glazer has his own show, yikes.

This NFL on Fox show is a real snooze-fest.

Jimmy says the Eagles will give up yards to the Saints between the 20’s but the key is to holdin them to FG’s and not TD’s. Interesting.

Howie Long says that Adrian Peterson is “Bo Jackson“. Big words, but Howie would know since he played with Jackson on the Raiders.

Johnson insinuates the LT might be faking his injury a little. The set goes crazy. He might be right, it’s a long season and LT has to save himself the rest of the season. He’s pretty old for a RB right now in his career.

Glazer reports that Panthers head coach John Fox has said that Jake Delhomme is “his guy”. Wes Welker is apparently out for the Pats, that could be huge, surprised no one is making a big deal out of that. The guy leads the NFL in receptions the last two years.

Now Fox is doing a segment with that lame comedian that started out doing John Madden impersonations. He’s now doing Jay Leno, it’s actually a pretty accurate impersonation. Still don’t know what the hell this is doing on an NFL pregame show.

Johnson says the Seahawks are the best team in their division. That’s like saying powdered sugar on a turd would taste better than just a regular turd.

Bradshaw then says he does the most preparation of anyone on the show, that’s probably the scariest thing I’ve heard all day.

Observations from the Pregame Shows for Sept. 13

September 13, 2009

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ESPN – NFL Sunday Countdown

New segment of show – “IBM Insight Center” hosted by Merrill Hoge from the Edge  NFL Matchup show, goes very in-depth statistically, good stuff. Unfortunately it’s like 1 minute long.

Mike Ditka – Does he look like a lot like Alf?

Cris Carter – Talking about the Seahawks turning it around because of Matt Hasselback. The Seahawks could make the playoffs this year but the top reason won’t be because of Hasselback playing this year. Seneca Wallace is just as good as Hasselback at this point in both their careers and showed it last season. Good job, Carter.

There’s a segment on new KC head coach, Todd Haley and how he’s taken away all the good parking spots from players from last year and given them to guys that earned it in preseason. I might have to take back my KC pick at #2 back. Ditka says after the segment, stupid is as stupid does. I turn the channel as fast as I can.

CBS – The NFL Today

Bill Cowher says both teams should get ball in OT because the way it is now favors the offensive side of teams. Uh, the team that receives the ball still has to go at least 40 or 50 yards on average to score. You don’t like that? Don’t have your team go to OT. It’s not even regulation at that point! All best are off!! This ain’t college ball!

Boomer Esiason no longer has a chin. His head basically looks like a giant pillow with eyes, nose, hair and a mouth.

Shannon Sharpe says something funny and everyone laughs. They must have a translator on the set because I couldn’t understand a word. I look at the clock and pray the games start right now. Oh dear God now Sharpe has put his legs up on the desk and he’s wearing shorts. Alright, this might be the worst pregame show.

Cowher brings up a good point regarding Eli Manning’s crazy new contract. Esiason says that with that new contract he’ll be expect to throw for 4,000 yards and over 30 TD’s (Yeah, that’s not happening!), Cowher replies that they are a running team. Exactly! So why was he given a 100 million dollar contract!? Crazy.

Cowher might unseast Esiason for smartest man on set. But that’s like saying MSNBC is a little less biased than FOX News, in the end we all lose.

FOX – NFL on FOX

Terry Bradshaw picks the Saints every year to win their divison. Makes sense.

Bradshaw is taking the Dolphins to win the division (??!!). I’m willing to bet that Bradshaw has not seen Miami play in probably 3 or 4 years.

Michael Strahan says Steelers didn’t look like the same team last year after ONE game against a tough Titans game and is taking the Ravens to win the division. I’m willing to bet that Strahan has seen Pittsburgh play…maybe never.

I’m beginning to realize that Jimmy “Devil’s Haircut” Johnson might be the only semi-intelligent person on this show.

Who Has the Worst Pregame Show – ESPN, CBS or FOX?

September 8, 2009

Alright, it’s pretty apparent that over the past few years, ESPN, CBS and FOX have entered into a battle to see who has the worst NFL Pregame show. Let’s take a closer look.

ESPN – Sunday NFL Countdown

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Chris Berman does his best to move along this 2 hour  (2 HOURS? Seriously?!) snooze-fest. I feel for the guy, I really do. Let’s look at who he has to work with.

Mike Ditka – Former Bears coach and rasta-wig wearing knucklehead, this guy normally talks about TE’s a lot and that’s about it, you’ll forget what he’s said about 2 minutes after he’s said it. I like the guy I just don’t want to hear him tell me why Jason Whitten is such a good TE for the 10th time.

Tom Jackson – Long-time partner with Berman, Jackson loves to hear himself talk, you can just tell by his long-winded ramblings into nothingness. Informative? No. Always a sure bet to pick the Broncos? Yes.

Keyshawn Johnson – This guy is always laughing, smiling at Ditka, I honestly don’t know what the hell he’s doing on TV. I think he’s on there to mix it up with Jackson, whatever that means.

Emmitt Smith – Is Smith actually still with ESPN? I’m pretty sure they let him go, he wasn’t good enough for this show and THAT’S saying something.

Steve Young – Occasionally Young will something that’s opinionated and not cliched but most of the time he’ll look at the camera like he’s had too many concussions (which he has).

Cris Carter – You can just tell that Carter thinks he has more football knowledge  than the rest of the crew and maybe he does but it’s kind of hard to tell with his inane observations and opinions.
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Chris Mortensen – Really the only reason to watch this show, he’s probably on camera for about 10 or 15 minutes total, but amazingly in that amount of time he has more real information on the day’s games and players than the rest of the crew combined. Still not worth turning on ESPN, though.

CBS –  The NFL Today
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Like Berman, CBS’ host James Brown does the best to move along this trainwreck of a show. I can only imagine what Brown is thinking while the rest of these clowns are talking. Let’s take a closer look.

Dan Marino – You can just tell that Marino loves just showing up on the set, saying a few words and collecting a nice paycheck. I like Marino but on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of how informative he is I’d have to give him a 3.

Bill Cowher – The newest member to this crew, Cowher sits smack in the middle of the show but it’s almost like he’s not even present. Most of the time he’ll say stuff like “I really like this player” and he’ll be talking about Tavaris Jackson! Holy shit. At least he’s opinionated on the rare times he talks.

Shannon Sharpe – Can anyone understand what Sharpe is saying? I call him “Mr. Marblemouth” because it really sounds like he’s put as many marbles in his mouth as possible before talking. I don’t know what he’s saying so therefore he gets an incomplete.

Boomer Esiason – Is Esiason annoying? Yes. Does he have the best opinions and most information of anyone on this show? Yes, but that’s not exactly something to be proud of.

Charlie Casserly – This guy scares me. Where did he come from? I’m assuming he used to do hits for the mafia, but I can’t prove it. He’s NFL Today’s version of Chris Mortensen but probably not as reliable. He supposedly has inside sources, info, etc.

FOX – The NFL on Fox
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Aw, yes, the NFL on Fox, the original dummy pregame show. Thanks to the high ratings of this show (America, you’re really not that stupid are you?) CBS and ESPN have followed suit and copied Fox’s format. I don’t know who the host is of this show now that Brown has left but I’m assuming he’s doing the best he can. Let’s look at Fox’s “analysts”.

Terry Bradshaw – Bradshaw obviously gets off on acting like a hillbilly and saying stupid shit and people LOVE it. It’s a win win situation. I like Bradshaw but watching him for his opinions on the day’s games just isn’t a good idea.

howieturtleneckHowie Long – I call Long “The Professor”, not because he says informative stuff (sometimes he does) but because he looks very intensely into the camera while wearing glasses and using big words that you may have to look up in a dictionary. It’s almost as if he’s trying really hard to make you think he might be the world’s smartest man when it comes to football knowledge. Nice try, Howie, but I’m not buying it!!

Jimmy Johnson – Johnson is just another in a long line of NFL TV “analysts” that will say something and you’ll totally forget 2 minutes later he ever said it because it’ll be something like “Brady and this offense looks really good right now”. No shit?

Michael Strahan – I’m just assuming Strahan is missing his playing days already and wants some of that attention that he used to get as a Giant. I think it’s a pretty safe assumption.

Jay Glazer –  Fox’s version of Chris Mortensen. His sources seem reliable enough but he comes off as a total douchebag.

Conclusion – Three way tie, they’re all the SAME show. Each filled with the same cliches and stupid one-liners, give or take a few honest observations. If you already watch football and spend 10 or 15 minutes on the internet looking at NFL.com for stats and highlights there is absolutely no reason to watch any of these shows. The only decent pregame show on TV is the Edge NFL Matchup show, but ESPN, being the joke of a network it is these days, has the show on at like 2 AM, so good luck with that.