Posts Tagged ‘Jimmy Johnson’

Observations From the Pregame Shows, Week 7

October 25, 2009

ESPN Sunday Countdown
Thank God for Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter. Otherwise this show would be a snooze-fest. The duo do a very interesting story about what would’ve happened if Drew Brees ended up in Miami instead of New Orleans, which almost happened. Instead the Dolphins signed Daunte Culpepper (suckers!). I guess Bill Parcells would’ve ended up in Atlanta along with Miami’s coach and Pennington and Henne.

Tom Jackson and Keyshawn Johnson do a segment called “Unbeaten Idol” where they sit at a desk and a horrifying Madden videogame version of Drew Brees walks out…I couldn’t watch anymore…I had to turn the channel.

Charlie “Hitman” Casserly talks about what a good deal the Jay Cutler contract extension was for both sides (yawn).

He then talks about Cedric Benson leaving the Bears and going to the Bengals (yawn).

Shannon Sharpe is holding up some sort of WWF belt during a segment. I turn the channel.

Boomer Esiason gives his top 10 QB’s so far this year according to his own criteria. It’s a complete joke. Eli Manning #3?? Did he watch last weeks game? Kyle Orton ahead of Tom Brady and Big Ben?? No Aaron Rodgers in the list?? Bill Cowher promptly rips his top ten list apart but still doesn’t do a good enough job as far as I’m concerned.

I turn on the Fox Show and they’re talking about giving away Ford Taurus’. OK.

Jay “Poppin’ Fresh” Glazer is talking about Tom Cable getting out of a fine for popping someone on his coaching. I guess Cable could’ve been fined $25,000 for bumping into a ref in some game this year.

Michael Strahan is talking about the Giants losing to the Raiders (??), the camera pans out and Jimmy Johnson looks like he’s about to kiss Strahan. I don’t know what the hell is going on here. Alright, FOX, you win worst Pregame show on TV.


Observations From the Pregame Shows, Week 4

October 4, 2009

ESPN – NFL Sunday Countdown

ESPN does a semi-interesting news story on the Redskins and why they suck. Of course it all goes back to Dan Snyder, one of the worst owners in the NFL. Thanks for pointing out the obvious, guys.

Tom Jackson points out that Denver has only given up 16 points in 3 games and he doesn’t care who the competition is, that’s impressive. Keyshawn Johnson counters that by pointing out they played JaMarcus Russell. Really that should discount one of Denver’s games from a defensive standpoint.

IBM Insight Center this week goes a little bit in-depth about the Steelers-Chargers game…For about a minute. Why isn’t this segment longer? It’s one of the only decent segments on this show. Merrill Hoge is one of the few in-depth and interesting guys on ESPN.

It goes back to the regular crew and they say a bunch of stupid stuff that the media has regurgitated for the last 10 years about how the Steelers need to go back to “Smashmouth Football”. No, actually the opposite, they need a new offensive coordinator and they need to throw it more in obvious run situations because they don’t have the O-line to run the ball down opponent’s throats.

Tom Jackson and Cris Carter actually do an interesting breakdown of the Jets-Saints game. Still not that in-depth but somewhat interesting.

Mike Ditka replies to the segment and I can’t understand a word.

I’m a little shocked, Sal Palantonio is actually covering a game that doesn’t involve the Eagles (are they playing this week? I think they are! It makes no sense). He’s interviewing John Harbaugh, coach of the Ravens, that man is a hell of a coach.


Charlie “Hitman” Casserly points out that the Bucs are so bad on the O-line that they need a more mobile QB than Byron Leftwich to avoid the pass rush so they’ve switched QB’s to a complete unknown guy. Wow, that’s a new one if true.

CBS talks about who has more pressure on them in the Vikings-Packers game, Brett Favre or Aaron Rodgers. Dan Marino stole the words right out of my mouth “Yeah, it’s hard to turn around and hand the ball off” in a reference to Favre handing the ball of the Adrian Peterson.

CBS crew actually does a really good but short break down of the Jets-Saints game. Why can’t they do that with every game?


FOX does a story about TO getting a “raw deal” from the media…Hmmmm….That doesn’t seem to make any sense at all.

Jimmy Johnson brings up an interesting point about the Redskins and how they over spend for top talent and thus don’t have any other talented players on the team.

Talking about the Cowboys running game, Johnson notes at how big their O-line is. Strahan, who played them twice a year as a Giant, noted that he could never understand why they didn’t run the ball more. Now they are and they have the #1 running game in the NFL.

Now they’re showing Jay Glazer, it almost looks like his head has been inflated like a balloon.

Terry Bradshaw picks the Saints every week.

The Fox crew is doing their picks of the day and I swear that after watching their “banter” it has made me a little stupider.

Observations From the Pregame Shows, Week 3

September 27, 2009

ESPN – NFL Sunday Countdown
Every time I turn on ESPN it seems like there’s Trent “f’ing” Dilfer staring back at me. It’s enough to make me never want to turn that channel on again.

ESPN is doing a piece on Rex Ryan son of legendary defensive coach Buddy Ryan. They’re showing that Oilers-KC playoff game where Buddy Ryan, then DC for the Oilers, tries to hit Kevin Gilbride, the Oilers OC, hilarious.

As I predicted earlier week, the media is talking a lot about Micheal Vick, unbelievable. ESPN’s Sal Palantonio who seems to exclusively cover the Eagles interviews Vick this week. Who cares?? What is there to talk about it at this point? All this attention for a guy who committed some horrible crimes, was about to be pushed out of Atlanta because he wasn’t progressing as a QB and who probably won’t have much, if any, impact this year for the Eagles. Good job, ESPN!

Dilfer does an unbelievably stupid piece on Tom Brady, stating the problem with that offense isn’t Tom Brady, it’s the Pats, but offers no reason why that is. Dilfer sure does love Brady. Keyshawn Johnson states the obvious, the type of injury Brady suffered is still affecting him, both mentally and physically. The problem with the Pats offense is obviously a combination of Brady’s injury, O-line, etc.

Alf is saying the Pats don’t have weapons. WHAT?

Cris Carter says that the most clutch QB he’s ever seen was Joe Montana and last week what he saw out of Brady was a QB that didn’t want to get hit. Interesting.

49ers are getting a little love from ESPN because they’re 2-0. Last year it was like the team didn’t even exist in terms of media coverage.
Mike “Alf” Ditka is a master of the cliches. I’m beginning to see why he didn’t do much as a head coach after the Bears won the Super Bowl in ’85.

Kenny Mayne does an awesome piece on “The Catch” the famous play that ushered in the 49ers dynasty where Joe Montana threw the game-winning pass to Dwight Clark against the Cowboys in the playoffs. Mayne mentions what I’ve known for some time, Joe Montana, the greatest QB to play the game, looks a hell of lot like Barry Manilow. Mayne must have a lot of pull as a reporter now because he gets Clark, Montana and Jerry Rice to talk about the play in a humorous way. Best 5 minutes of any of the pregame shows so far this year.
ESPN’s only decent regular segment is Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen together going through various topics. I don’t always agree with them but at least it’s interesting.

ESPN needs to get rid of that stupid EA Sports view thing. Tom Jackson does a useless segment on the Steelers new offense using the EA Sports thing and how in the shotgun they run the ball. I don’t think the Steelers have run that play all year. Not informative of all.

CBS The NFL Today

Uh oh, Shannon Sharpe is back on the CBS set. I was hoping he’d forget how to get to the set after not being there last week.

According to everyone on the set, the Raiders are winning games in spite of Jamarcus Russell, no shit!

Boomer Esiason is taking the 49ers over the Vikings because of the defense taking on the identity of their head coach, Mike Singletary, and because of  Favre will throw a couple picks. Good call.

CBS does an online/text poll of whether Tony Romo will ever win a SB in Dallas, not surprisingly 91% of the voters say no. The stupid thing is if the Cowboys had beaten the Giants last week the poll would be probably a lot different.

CBS then does a stupid poll of who “the best player in the NFL” is. How can you quantify that? They limit it to just 3 players.

CBS then advertises a Michael Vick interview on their show. I turn the channel.

Howie Long is looking at Terry Bradshaw like he might want to kiss him. Bradshaw returns the look.

Jay Glazer‘s head looks like a big piece of bread with little eyes and mustache.

Bradshaw is talking about body slamming Michael Strahan. Jimmy Johnson is the only consistently decent guy on this set.

Long brings up an interesting point about the Pats and how they only have a handful of players left over from their last SB win. Lots of coaches and players have left the team since then, but Johnson counters that by stating the most important components are still there with Belichick and Brady.

I kind of want to punch that Frank Caliendo in the face. Every time I see him it’s an automatic change of the channel.

The Fox show might not be the worst, but they definitely act the dumbest for the lowest common denominator.

Observations from the Pregame Shows for Sept. 13

September 13, 2009


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ESPN – NFL Sunday Countdown

New segment of show – “IBM Insight Center” hosted by Merrill Hoge from the Edge  NFL Matchup show, goes very in-depth statistically, good stuff. Unfortunately it’s like 1 minute long.

Mike Ditka – Does he look like a lot like Alf?

Cris Carter – Talking about the Seahawks turning it around because of Matt Hasselback. The Seahawks could make the playoffs this year but the top reason won’t be because of Hasselback playing this year. Seneca Wallace is just as good as Hasselback at this point in both their careers and showed it last season. Good job, Carter.

There’s a segment on new KC head coach, Todd Haley and how he’s taken away all the good parking spots from players from last year and given them to guys that earned it in preseason. I might have to take back my KC pick at #2 back. Ditka says after the segment, stupid is as stupid does. I turn the channel as fast as I can.

CBS – The NFL Today

Bill Cowher says both teams should get ball in OT because the way it is now favors the offensive side of teams. Uh, the team that receives the ball still has to go at least 40 or 50 yards on average to score. You don’t like that? Don’t have your team go to OT. It’s not even regulation at that point! All best are off!! This ain’t college ball!

Boomer Esiason no longer has a chin. His head basically looks like a giant pillow with eyes, nose, hair and a mouth.

Shannon Sharpe says something funny and everyone laughs. They must have a translator on the set because I couldn’t understand a word. I look at the clock and pray the games start right now. Oh dear God now Sharpe has put his legs up on the desk and he’s wearing shorts. Alright, this might be the worst pregame show.

Cowher brings up a good point regarding Eli Manning’s crazy new contract. Esiason says that with that new contract he’ll be expect to throw for 4,000 yards and over 30 TD’s (Yeah, that’s not happening!), Cowher replies that they are a running team. Exactly! So why was he given a 100 million dollar contract!? Crazy.

Cowher might unseast Esiason for smartest man on set. But that’s like saying MSNBC is a little less biased than FOX News, in the end we all lose.


Terry Bradshaw picks the Saints every year to win their divison. Makes sense.

Bradshaw is taking the Dolphins to win the division (??!!). I’m willing to bet that Bradshaw has not seen Miami play in probably 3 or 4 years.

Michael Strahan says Steelers didn’t look like the same team last year after ONE game against a tough Titans game and is taking the Ravens to win the division. I’m willing to bet that Strahan has seen Pittsburgh play…maybe never.

I’m beginning to realize that Jimmy “Devil’s Haircut” Johnson might be the only semi-intelligent person on this show.